Reply to Google troops

My counterpart wants you to believe that Google is evil and will take over the world. this is only half correct Google will take over the world and i will love every minute of it. for Google is the only true search engine left. yahoo has degraded itself to nothing more than a showy attention whore. yahoo has so much other crap on its page i can barely find the search bar. there is news and movies and music cluttering up the one thing that yahoo claims to and thats a search engine, on the other hand google is nice and clean with the bar prominently desplayed right in the center with all of its smaller items off on the top. google can do so much more than yahoo can it has a built in calculator, brilliant! just type in some numbers and a sign and it will do the math without having to click on any of the things. Google also has fun easter eggs. go Google Chuck Norris right now exactly as I put it. awesome right? does yahoo do that? NO it doesn't! its lame. Google also celebrates various holidays and famous birthdays with fun banners. Google has more than one type of search have you ever hit the more button go do it right now. once again awesome right there are so many of them one i like the best is the scholar search if you are trying to find actual data use this one it brings up database entries and scholarly papers for your use. if you just look around Google does everything Yahoo does without any of the clutter its amazing i support everything Google does.

oh and this is the yahoo office compared to googles:


VIVA LA GOOGLELUTION!

Google Troops

So I learned a while back that Google bought Youtube. Now this may not be exactly what you'd call new news but I thought I'd bring it up to begin making my point. 

Today I would like to discuss a great fear of mine... That is that Google will one day buy up enough to support a country and build up an army to destroy America.... and those who use search engines such as yahoo or dogpile.

Its not a pretty picture I understand... But the way Google is headed, it shouldn't be much of a surprise should it?! Much like ducks, Google is bent on conquering the world. I'll discuss ducks in later blog.

It will start with yahoo. Everyone who is or even knows someone who is anyone has known that Yahoo has been a thorn in Googles side. Soon the search button will work no longer. Then a new screen will flash that simply shows your address and mapquest and a countdown. "Thou shouldest not have used Yahoo..." Then I guess you die or something... 

So moral of this entry, Don't use Google... or I guess only use Google...

GO YAHOO!!!

The Demon Shower

So I've already introduced the single most evil location in the world earlier in Puddingwife. Forget you Eastern State Penitentiary or St. Anne's Retreat or Britannia Manor! The most evil place in the world is my shower. Yes really.

To be fair though, I do have some good news about my bathroom. I've finally stopped stepping on nails! After weeks of stepping on them, I've gone without stepping on them for coming up on a month! I know that most people expect this from bathrooms but I'm excited ok?

So my bathroom is getting creative. It gets hot now, pretty quickly in fact. But my shower has new ways to torture me. So above is a diagram of a shower control valve. I have the perfect temperature, then on either side is scolding hot or freezing cold. Now I have to stand outside my shower and wait until I find the warm temperature. Here's where my shower got creative. So I found out recently that the perfect spot changes location. So I can't just leave the nozzle where it is, I have to find it every day. On top of that, it changes spots even while I'm in it. So I'll just be showering minding my own business when suddenly I'll notice steam.... then I notice my skin boiling.... Then comes the screaming. So I gain courage and test it and I realize there are little glaciars forming at the bottom of the shower. It just plain doesn't make any sense.

Then my shower performed the ultimate evil just yesterday. I'm enjoying the warmth and I put a bunch of shampoo in, more than necessary, and its dripping off my head all over me (I know, it's an impressive image) when suddenly, the water shuts off. I just look up all amazed at the sheer dark ways of my shower with this new idea. I turn off the water, and wait.... and wait... and wait... and finally try turning it on again, as if that ever works. Nothing. So I have to bang on my wall and force my Dad to help me. Turns out MY SHOWER shut off the water to the house! What kind of demon would do that?!

So moral of this story.... I live a life of fear... Where will my shower strike next.... and Why? There is a probable part three of stories from my shower. Until then, avoid my shower... if you can...