Babies

Ok so as you all know i'm misanthropic. There are somethings i tolerate but this article is not about that. This article is all about the Hatred. YAY hating things. Today we will take a look at babies. Dear lord I hate babies so much. there is so muchi can say on the topic of babies that i dont even know where to begin. wheel of hatred spin, spin, spin. tell me the place to begin. ok the wheel of hatred landed on "ugly." BABIES ARE UGLY. there is nothing cute or adorable about a tiny bald, wrinkled person that constantly throws up on itself. you dont look at drunken hobos and think 'aww thats so precious'.

see what I mean

second babies smell bad. Now your probably saying but Jordan it's not the babies fault that it throws up on itself and poo's its pants. yes this is true that the baby cant help it but the fact that they give off gross smells at all makes them less likeable. It wouldnt be as bad if it was just the baby but thier stank infests the whole house. I mean god its everywhere constantly. plus the stuff you use to make babies less smelly is really smelly itself. its not getting rid of the smell its just changing it to different equally gross smell. you can never win the smell fight, ever.

third, babies are loud. they cry all they freaking time! if it wants food it crys, if it wants to play it crys, if it poos it crys, if you shake it it crys. SHUT UP BABY. im mean if it had other ways of comunicating besides crying then maybe it wouldnt be so bad. but since screaming at the top of their lungs while making various other annoying noises is the only way that they have conversations with people is not good. (solution: baby muzzle?)

people dont like the fact that i hate babies. they come up to me and are like but Jordan you used to be a baby. yes, USED TO, not any more. i also believed in god. THINGS CHANGE. when im older i prolly wont hate babies enough to make my wife have one but as of now I hate babies.

now for a theory on babies. Babies are an STD (that only effect women) thats why women go to hospitals to get them removed. ( I wish AIDS was that simple). people have decided that its socially acceptable to keep the babies as souvieniers(sorta like tonsils). after a while the babies start to change.(like moldy bread?.....or moldy tonsils??)when they change they aren't so bad any more (lol instead of getting smelly the smell goes anyway.)

I see the pie article on the horizon. look its right over there. or if your reading this after i have written the pie article the look its right up there. go read it....again.